So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
