It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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