why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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