I can feel you judging me through the phone.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
