TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
