I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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