She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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