I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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