I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
