Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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