there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
