sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
