Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
