David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Panties = found
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
