She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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