You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
