As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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