Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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