I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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