My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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