there was a trapeze. enough said
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
