If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
