How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
