I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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