I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
