doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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