Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
