my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Panties = found
Randomize
