I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My vagina is officially offended.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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