sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
