Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I am available for nakedness
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
