i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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