What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
