Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
