he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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