the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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