Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
