i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
