I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
