Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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