My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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