...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I had to cum in my sink.
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