Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
COCAINE IS GR8
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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