Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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