Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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