I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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