Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
