I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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