gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
