There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
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