You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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