Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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