i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
