Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
