tell your sister to shave her snatch
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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